Academic research documents that the effects of a bad divorce can be devastating to children. We now know for certain that in this process, all family members will win or lose together.
When parents are able to cooperate, they can:
* Protect the children from their conflict
* Use their love for the children as the building blocks to consruct the family’s future
* Save financial resources for the family (instead of wasting them in legal wrangling)
* Model priceless life lessons that the children can carry into their own adult relationships.
As a bonus, studies prove that parents who focus on protecting their children also have an easier time themselves healing from the pain of divorce.
Almost always, legal maneuvering causes more problems than it solves. One-on-one discussion, counseling, mediation and Collaborative Law offer families much better solutions than those available from the adversary court system. Adults may see divorce as a legal problem, but kids experience it as a frightening family crisis. As always, they look to their parents for comfort, support and re-assurance.
I am committed to helping my clients meet this challenge. Accessing their best selves, couples can maneuver through the legal minefield of divorce, caring for all family members, and preserving the ability to successfully co-parent their children in the years ahead.
Maybe it’s a mistake to talk so much about conflict’s long term damage to children. Surely, that’s a tragic outcome. But don’t we want to protect a child from even the pain of the moment? Won’t parents who once stayed up all night to comfort a child through the mumps care about the same child’s broken heart — if we only help them notice? ~ ALF MAMO, BARRISTER, LONDON, ONTARIO
If divorcing parents will agree on one thing, they will agree on everything, if that one thing is ‘What do we want our relationships with our children to be when they are 25?‘ ~ PAT BROWN, ATTORNEY & MEDIATOR
