Earlier this year, the N.Y. Times ran a funny, sweet essay entitled Our Kinder, Gentler, Nobody-Moves-Out Divorce: When the end of a marriage means living on separate floors of the same house. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/14/style/modern-love-kinder-gentler-divorce.html. It got me thinking about the range of post-divorce relationships I’ve seen (including my … [Read more...] about Are We Still Family After the Divorce?
I specialize in helping folks have peaceful divorces, while serving as an advising lawyer, mediator, or Collaborative attorney. I no longer participate in any family law litigation. A common question I get from prospective clients facing possible divorce goes something like this: “What is the Oregon law on the topic of _________ ?”. My typical response is something like “You can do … [Read more...] about I Bet You Didn’t Know… A Peaceful Divorce Process Puts You In Control
I recently wrote a primer on “Negotiating with Your Partner: Look Ahead, Not Backwards” for Bridges Collaborative Divorce Solutions. This article outlines concrete steps to take towards a different future and highlights how to effectively negotiate. Read about this solution-oriented approach here. … [Read more...] about Negotiating with Your Partner
Yes there is fear.Yes there is isolation.Yes there is panic buying.Yes there is sickness.Yes there is even death.But,They say that in Wuhan after so many years of noiseYou can hear the birds again.They say that after just a few weeks of quietThe sky is no longer thick with fumesBut blue and grey and clear.They say that in the streets of AssisiPeople are singing to each otheracross the empty … [Read more...] about Lockdown, by Fr. Richard Hendrick
What if you thought of itas the Jews consider the Sabbath—the most sacred of times?Cease from travel.Cease from buying and selling.Give up, just for now,on trying to make the worlddifferent than it is.Sing. Pray. Touch only thoseto whom you commit your life.Center down.And when your body has become still,reach out with your heart.Know that we are connectedin ways that are terrifying and … [Read more...] about Pandemic, by Lynn Ungar
A divorce (or a breakup for unmarried folks) doesn’t always mean the end of the couple’s relationship. Partners with children necessarily will be interacting for years to come, maybe forever. And many couples without kids still choose to remain connected post-break-up. Our relationships change when we separate, but often continue in a different form. Taking stock Most … [Read more...] about Valuing Post-Break-up Relationships
Mary Oliver, a poet who recently passed away, challenged us to look closely at what’s right in front of us and seize the day through her unique voice. The Summer Day Who made the world? Who made the swan, and the black bear? Who made the grasshopper? This grasshopper, I mean- the one who has flung herself out of the grass, the one who is eating sugar out of my hand, who … [Read more...] about Seize the Day
Early in life, James O’Connor realized he had an overarching desire to help people. He went to Georgetown Law School with the intent of using the law as a tool for change. After graduating in the Ronald Reagan era, O’Connor found himself searching for a job that allowed him to assist individuals and couples in finding solutions to the issues that many families face. So, he … [Read more...] about Multnomah Lawyer talked with me for their latest issue’s Pro Bono Spotlight