A Final Vow to You Once we meant something uniquely special to each other. To our sons, we always will. No man will ever love them as much as I do; no woman will ever love them as much as you do. To them, we will always be family, and when they think of their family, they will think of us. Today I can see they would feel any attack between us like an attack on them — … [Read more...] about A Divorcing Parent’s Vow
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10 Clear Thoughts — Just When You May Need Them Most
1. In most cases, parents either win together or lose together. No one “wins” in divorce, and almost always a crusade for “victory” cause more conflict, expense, and damage to children. Outcomes are good if they’re good for everyone. 2. Protecting your children may be your light out of hurt and fear. Almost always parents do best for themselves when they build peace for their … [Read more...] about 10 Clear Thoughts — Just When You May Need Them Most
Some Families Are Too Stressed To Work On Their Marriages
Here’s an article from Slate.com that I know many of you can relate to: Relationships The Work of “Marital Maintenance” Is a Privilege And not everyone can afford it. By Sarah Bregel April 19, 20189:41 AM Recently, I bumped into an old acquaintance from a mom group while I mulled over a bag of clementines in the produce section at Target. My 3-year-old sat in the cart, … [Read more...] about Some Families Are Too Stressed To Work On Their Marriages
Requirements for a Peaceful Divorce
As an experienced mediator and a divorced dad, I am always looking for new insights on how to ease this process for my clients. I belong to The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), a professional organization that helps us practitioners constantly improve our skills. In the midst of the stress of separation and divorce, it can be very tough to see the larger … [Read more...] about Requirements for a Peaceful Divorce
Confessions of a Part Time Mom
Divorce hits with a particular brutality when small children are involved. My ex-husband and I agreed to joint custody, and we co-parent amicably, so our situation is better than most. And yet, adding to my initial anger, disappointment, and shame about the end of the relationship was a heavy layer of guilt for forcing our children to trundle back and forth between us, wishing there … [Read more...] about Confessions of a Part Time Mom
The Best Possible Thing You Can Do to Help Your Child Through Your Divorce
Most kids will suffer for a short time after a marriage ends, but what exacerbates and extends their stress and anxiety is when they feel torn between two parents, says communication researcher Tamara Afifi. "Fifteen years ago, I was doing field research for one of my first studies on divorce (TEDxUCSB Talk: The impact of divorce on children) and I experienced a moment that had a huge impact on … [Read more...] about The Best Possible Thing You Can Do to Help Your Child Through Your Divorce
Finding A New Kind Of Partnership Through Divorce
Thoughts after the recent election (or after a separation):
“The world is violent and mercurial — it will have its way with you. We are saved only by love — love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share: being a parent; being a writer; being a painter; being a friend. We live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it, all the time, is love.” Tennessee Williams … [Read more...] about Thoughts after the recent election (or after a separation):