When you’re a child of divorce, holiday celebrations can come with a lot of baggage. By Aisha Harris Aisha Harris addressed a common Thanksgiving conundrum: holiday meals are built around togetherness, but what if your family is divided? The original essay is reprinted below: In the last nine years, I’ve shared only one Thanksgiving meal with both of my parents, who divorced during my … [Read more...] about Giving Thanks After a Split
1: It’s a competition. Almost always in divorce, parents either win together or lose together. Parents’ common interests remain common after separation. 2: We have a legal problem. Nearly all issues in divorce are Mom-and-Dad issues. Parents and kids are badly hurt when parent issues are miscast as legal ones. 3: We have a custody dispute. Almost no couples have a … [Read more...] about The 9 Myths of Divorce and Separation
(from UpToParents.org) "Out of clutter find simplicity; from discord find harmony;In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."Albert Einstein 1. They Create a “Child Safety Zone.” With their parents’ separation and divorce, children lose the protective cocoon of the intact family. Successful co-parents realize it’s up to them to create a new cocoon for their children. An outstanding … [Read more...] about The 7 Skills of the Successful Co-Parent
http://nypost.com/2014/05/27/ordinary-folk-take-gwyneths-lead-to-consciously-uncouple/ … [Read more...] about “Conscious Uncoupling” as the new divorce
(from www.UptoParents.org) At the time of divorce, all members of the family are often hurting badly. There may be many disagreements and much bad feelings between the parents. But there is one critical shred challenge: how to protect the kids from the well-documented harm they will suffer from parental conflict. And, studies show that by focusing on their kids’ needs, divorcing parents … [Read more...] about Important “Shifts” for Divorcing Parents
If you are a fan of NPR’s This American Life, maybe you’ve already heard this short clip. Ira Glass interviews Barry Berkman (a Collaborative lawyer from New York) about why he stopped doing adversarial divorces, and the financial and emotional advantages his clients receive from choosing to separate peacefully. http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/339/break-up?act=3#play … [Read more...] about Don’t Just Take My Word for It !
One of the least romantic things that can happen in the lead-up to a marriage is to have one of the partners request that the other sign a pre-nuptial agreement, right? We can all imagine the following scenario: a wealthy partner wants to make sure that the less-well-off partner doesn’t get his (or her) pre-marital assets if the couple ends up divorcing. Just talking about a possible divorce … [Read more...] about Pre—Nuptial Agreements Don’t Have to be “ICKY” !
The time will comewhen, with elationyou will greet yourself arrivingat your own door, in your own mirrorand each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat.You will love again the stranger who was your self.Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heartto itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignoredfor another, who knows you by heart.Take down the … [Read more...] about Love After Love