Many people don’t realize that about 90%+ family law cases are settled before a Judge has to decide the family’s issues. But, in the “bad-old” days, and today in traditional divorce cases, the amount of stress, delay and expense getting to that settlement makes things way, way too hard on all family members, especially the children. When couples are able to work together in mediation, or using Collaborative Family Law protocols, they are able to avoid much of this unnecessary suffering.
A peaceful divorce is not only possible, it’s becoming the “new normal,” especially for couples with kids who realize that their lives will remain interconnected, even if they are no longer married to each other. With the proper help and support, partners can make their own decisions, and can best express their wishes and desires themselves. Sometimes, the mutual solutions couples develop for their families will track the “legal model” that would be imposed in the court process. But, in many cases, partners can do better than this and tailor a plan that is designed to meet the unique needs of their family.
I really believe that for most of us, divorce is a family problem, not a legal problem. And, working together, we can develop our own family solutions rather than being stuck with the “cookie cutter” legal results that would be dictated by the court system.